cause of death: feelings

dear sweet human,

you may or may not be labeled hypersensitive, overly emotional, or just emotional. and that’s okay. we sometimes run with an accusation, a diagnosis, or an offhand remark. we let the words take us off into the dark depths of our imagination. our childhood traumas. the recesses of our imagination. we take it personal because we are sensitive. but we can let it hit us less swiftly. 

these labels can exist for many nefarious reasons, but they can also help. these words can have an insulating effect, a sort of bubble of mental protection. these labels can help remind us that we exist in a harsh world. a world where our instinctual or learned or taught reactions are valid. where there is nothing wrong with our reactions. but a world where these labels of oversensitivity exist to help us realize that our rational reactions to a cold and cruel world are not always desired. not often desired. people do not always want to see that, and it is for our own sake that we do well to remember it. not because anything is wrong with how we are, how we cope, how we be. but instead because we don’t want to feel worse. this simple reframing helps.

you feel their words rumble in your gut when others don’t even hear it.

you hear their silence ring between your ears when they don’t even know it.

you watch the twitch of their eye that they didn’t know you saw.

you taste yesterday as if linear time collapsed in on itself.

you smell the hesitation that leaves no trace.

you feel a lot. you feel uncomfortable with how much you feel. you seek ways to turn it off, but like a leaky faucet it just won’t stop.

you need to know that this is okay. you need to be reminded that there is nothing wrong with feeling. 

and you need to know that all you can control is you. you cannot blame other people for how you feel. you cannot stop someone from commenting on your feelings. you cannot stop someone from thinking about your sensitivities. you cannot stop the world from spinning. you cannot stop current events. you cannot self-isolate forever. you cannot self-medicate forever. 

you can, however, take responsibility for your many feelings. you can choose one moment to appreciate your gifts and another to curse them. you can praise your power(s) of observation.  you can let the feelings hit you, witness them, honor them, then release them. you can write about them. sing about them. draw them. think about them. meditate with them. share them. nurture them. love with them. love them. share them. let them overwhelm you. sit with them. ask for help with them. do nothing.

you are allowed to feel. your feelings are valid. feeling itself it is valid. but you are responsible for what you do with them. how you treat them. how you treat yourself. how you talk to them. how you talk to yourself. you are responsible. you are capable.

love,

a sweet human with lots of feelings

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